All Over Again
by cecills
Summary: What if Edward left Bella... again?
1. Chapter 1

**Hi! This is my first fanfiction, so please let me know if it is any good and I will continue it when possible.**

**Thanks! x**

_All characters belong to Stephenie Meyer._

Chapter One.

Bella glanced across at Edward, her cheeks fire engine red. She looked at him through the velvety curtain of thick dark hair and felt a tear form at the inner corner of her deep chocolate brown eyes. It spilled over and slid silently down her blotchy red face. She tasted the salty drop of water as it touched her full red lips, and listened to the small 'plop' that it made on the leather aeroplane seat. The small noise seemed deafeningly loud. It did not penetrate the dark pool of silence that stretched between the two, very different 'people'.

'But... why, Edward? Why?' Bella asked suddenly in a soft voice, so soft that she could hardly hear herself, but Edward could hear her perfectly. His golden eyes smouldered enticingly, reminding Bella of what she had just lost. Edward took a long, deep breath and spoke harshly: 'I don't love you, Bella. I never did. I never will: you were just a game to me.'

Edward darted a look across the aisle to the other pair of first- class seats in which Alice and Jasper were seated. His movement was almost imperceptible, but Bella caught it as well as the 'conversation' he and Alice had in his head. She realised he looked extremely guilty and wondered why. Maybe it was because she had just saved his life and he was leaving her. Again.

Alice motioned behind Edward's head to notify him to the fact that Bella was watching his every movement. He turned towards her swiftly and glared menacingly. She cringed away from his deathly stare and looked hurt. His golden eyes softened slightly when he saw the injured look on her asymmetrical face.

'It's just that... you need me to leave. You NEED this. You need to make normal friends; friends who like you for YOU, not your blood.' His facial expressions were dire as he stared into her eyes as if searching for an unknown treasure.

'Edward! I don't need anything but you! You... you _are_ my life now. I... I... I WILL ALWAYS LOVE YOU!' Bella was verging on becoming hysterical.

Edward's face twisted into a look of sheer pain as he realised what he would have to say next in order to make Bella understand. 'I don't want your blood. I don't want you to come near me. I never want to see you again.' Bella suddenly understood. She looked at Edward's handsome face, muttered something about a Greek God, and then turned away. There was one emotion on her face now, and Edward was feeling the same thing.

Heartbreak.


	2. Chapter 2

**Thank you SO much for all of your encouragement.**

**This chapter is not as emotional as the last one- I was left feeling a little drained after writing that :P, but it's different. There are a lot of Bella's thoughts in this one.**

**_All of these characters belong to Stephenie Meyer. Unfortunately. :)_**

Chapter Two

Bella thought frantically to herself as she lay recumbent in her aeroplane seat. She thought of how she had saved him, Edward, the Love Of Her Life, from being brutally killed by the heartless Volturi; of how much she had recovered from the seemingly bottomless hole of despair that she was endlessly sinking into while Edward was gone; of how when he was around... she was complete.

She brushed these thoughts off as those of a silly, naive girl and, with great effort, twisted her body around so she could look out of the small portal window. The evening sky was red, orange, purple, pink, with wispy clouds in varying shades of white and grey floating around. Bella thought to herself that this was a very dramatic place to end their passionate love affair that had lasted under twenty four hours and left both parties utterly breathless and completely speechless.

As she thought of these things, the window situated directly in front of her face started to fog up. She looked up at it and realised that she was sobbing. Not softly tearing up but more intense than that: she felt as if she could cry for hours and hours, but without people knowing. Just the way she wanted it. She wanted, no, needed, to get on with normal life the way a normal teenager would. She needed to be friends with Lauren, Jess, Mike, Angela, Tyler and Eric again. She needed normalcy. She needed to never again slip into the spiral of downward depression that had started to eat at her from the inside out last time.

Impossible. As Bella thought these thoughts she disregarded them: how was she to lead a normal life _when _her life did not want her, need her, love her? Bella raised her clenched fist and dragged it across her face, wiping away all of her salty tears.

She turned to face what she used to consider her own personal God, but got twisted and tangled up in the standard aeroplane issue scratchy blanket, the dark green seatbelt strap, and her own limbs. Edward shook his head admonishingly in his 'slumber', making Bella feel even more ridiculous than she already did.

Bella unknotted her legs and arms from in, out and around the strap and blanket before proceeding to motion to Alice. Bella mouthed 'We need to talk!' at Alice, who replied to this with a quick shake of her head and a subtle nod of her head towards her 'sleeping' brother. Bella rolled her eyes but refused to look at the statue lying next to her: every time she did the hole got a fraction bigger. Already it was worse than before. Already she knew how bad it was really going to be this time.

She had missed him for months, had a taste of him for a day, and then he was gone again. Well, going to be gone again. Bella sat up straight, her body straining to slouch. She unclipped the large metal buckle that was to save her if anything happened to the plane (although, she thought, if she didn't have Edward what point was there in living?) and stepped over Edward's feet which protruded into her leg space. She attempted to brush past him as if she had not a care in the world, but failed miserably: when she took her first step she stumbled and fell straight into his cold hard lap.

The feelings and memories came rushing back to her. Bella's blood pounded through her brain. The sound of the aeroplane engines thundered through her ears. Her head spun.

_He didn't love her. She was a joke. A game. A fool. Someone to be ridiculed. She was never, ever loved. She was loveless. She remembered The Dark Times. Jacob. His smile. His laugh. His Perpetual Love. The bikes. The cliff. Victoria. The Werewolves. The Good Times. The Italian restaurant. The Meadow..._

The palms of Bella's hands were becoming clammy.

_Nights. Endless nights, cool nights. Nights where Bella would hardly sleep, she was so aware of his every movement; every subtle noise or breath he made or took; every single hair on his head. She had sat there for hours, staring at his perfectly formed face: statue like, fantastic, stunning. Indescribable. _

_His Eyes. She remembered previous conversations:_

'_Do you have to do that?'_

'_What?'_

'_Dazzle people.'_

'_... Do I dazzle you?'_

'_Frequently.'_

_She remembered staring into the__ liquid topaz golden butterscotch smouldering eyes__ that never ceased to render her incapable._

Her eyes darted around the small cabin of the plane, deliberately looking anywhere other than into his perfectly shaped eyes.

_Bella thought of his soft, gentle touch. She thought of their first kiss, just after they left the Meadow that day. She ridiculed and reprimanded herself constantly after that: why had she fainted? She thought of the electricity between them whilst watching the video in Biology. What was the video on again? She thought of how sweetly, softly, he touched her hair when she saved him earlier that day. How happy he had seemed when they were together again..._

Her head pounded, the strong beat ringing in her ears.

These thoughts ran through Bella's head quickly as she struggled to regain composure after landing in the ex- Love Of Her Life's lap. Once Alice had pulled her back to an upright position, Bella stumbled and staggered her way down the aisle towards the washrooms at the back of the First Class section.

When she had finished her walk down the Aisle of Shame Bella launched herself into the small grey lavatory that had been jazzed up a little by the tacky, obviously fake, plastic flowers resting in a small vase of water. She took in her surroundings, breathing slowly.

_In... one... two... three..._

_Out... one... two... three..._

Bella was calm. Well, calmer. She thought of the situation before her, not that she hadn't agonised over his every word for the previous two and a half hours. Bella was torn in two. She thought he loved her, and she loved him; but if he wanted to leave and never see her again she would have to act cool and collected about it, even though she was ripped to shreds on the inside.

One word would not leave Bella's mind. One word circled around her brain, her body, her very being, until it sounded alien and strange. _Why_. A million questions revolved around this word and a million thoughts evolved around the million questions. _Why, why, why?_ As hard as Bella tried she could not get rid of the feeling that he did not mean it.

_But WHY would he say it if he didn't mean it? WHY would he pretend to love me when I saved him? WHY would he tell me he never meant it the first time he said it? Maybe... maybe it was all a cruel joke between Edward and... Alice? No, not Alice. Alice is my best friend- she would never do that... would she? It must have been Rosalie. Rose hated me. _

Thoughts similar but so, so different lapped each other as they all competed to receive Bella's full attention. Like the attention she used to give Edward- Him- whenever they were near to one another. Which, in other words, was all the time.

Bella squeezed her eyes shut tightly and realised that she had been in the toilet for more than just a few minutes. She was going to have to face this. She splashed a few handfuls of icy cold water onto her red face and smoothed down her now unruly hair. There was not much else she could do to her appearance, she just had to hope he would not take much notice of it whilst she spoke...


	3. Chapter 3

**Heyyyy!**

**School has been HECTIC at the moment, and the only times I can seem to do this are at the weekend or in the middle of the night. And seeing as I can't upload things while I'm at school, weekends seem to be the best time. :(**

**OH! And if you haven't checked out Hockey-Girl32's story, then you totally should. Pretty hilarious! And we are writing two (or three) new fanfics... Think Edward's twin, a lot of confusion, and some pretty funny little (or not- so little) chapters! **

**Love!**

**_Disclaimer: Twilight does not (unfortunately) belong to me. :(_**

Chapter Three

Bella had one last cursory glance at herself in the speckled washroom mirror and took a long, deep breath. It was time. Time for her to do it, to stand up for herself. At the very thought of talking to Edward after what he had previously said to her Bella began to breath heavily. All of a sudden, she was hyperventilating.

_Calm, Bella, calm. You can do this. You are a __strong, independent woman. __It's up to you to sort this: do you really want a repeat of the last few months? There will be no other chance like this- he won't try to kill himself next time you jump off a cliff. Not that there will be a next time. Hopefully._

Bella wrenched the door open and took a steady step into the aisle. She marched up the grey carpeted walkway with her back straight and features arranged in a neutral expression. The floor- level lighting illuminated Bella's face with an eerie glow. She arrived at Edward's seat and stared at his perfect face silently.

He did not notice her presence until she shuffled her feet. _Wow, _Bella thought to herself,_ he must be in a really deep 'sleep'_! He suddenly jerked into an upright position and looked around him so quickly it was almost imperceptible. Bella knew he was taking in the scene around him, finding the source of the danger. Edward looked around once more, completely skipping out where Bella was standing. He looked down at her feet and then slowly, even for a human, raised his eyes. The deep emotion was clearly readable.

He was feeling pain.

A pain that no one could understand, not even Bella. It was a kind of raw emotion that was rarer than the most endangered species on the planet. She, Bella Swan, had made a one hundred and six year old vampire feel pain.

Bella's resolve softened a little as she stared into his golden, heartbroken eyes. She blinked twice and remembered what she was to do. He had broken her heart. Twice. As she thought of this, a small voice in her head chattered on.

_But is it really surprising? I mean, look at you: plain old Bella Swan. It's not like you're very clever, or pretty, or popular, or sporty. You are average in most things and below average in a few. Take Gym for example: why would someone like Edward, so obviously the physically superior one, 'love' you? You did not deserve someone like him... a Greek God... And there is a reason he always pulls away during your make out sessions. HE DOESN'T LOVE YOU. HE NEVER DID. And he told you so himself. TWICE. You never listen, do you, Bella Swan? Why don't you just go die. It's not like he'd care._

Bella shook her head, her matted hair sticking to it like glue to paper. She had to clear her head of these thoughts for the time being, even though they were correct.

Edward looked her up and down, watching what he had just lost. He had told a filthy lie, and now he was dead. Well, deader. Bella Swan had changed him. She had made him fun when he used to be dull; energetic rather than annoying; pleasant instead of angry at the world. Bella Swan was the love of Edward Cullen's entire being, his existence. His life had seemed worthless before he met her... it seemed priceless before he left her. (The first time.) Isabella Marie Swan was Edward Anthony Mason Cullen's human vampiric mate.

'Edward...' Bella didn't know how to start this extremely awkward topic of conversation.

'Edward, we need to talk about this.' Edward threw a throwaway glance at Alice and Jasper, who were lying facing each other but obviously listening. He looked confused: before, Bella would never have said anything if he'd said he did not love her. She had changed. Bella felt the need to clarify: 'About how you don't love me and stuff. I'm... I'm not saying that you HAVE to love me, merely stating the fact that you are my life and my life is not worth living without you. Also, it would not be beneficial for you to leave me. I recovered perfectly well last time, but I don't want to have to do it again...' She had to stop for a breather before continuing, 'Edward, I. LOVE. YOU. I know that you don't,' she sniffed, '... love me and that you never did, but WHY did you pretend, Edward? It was such a cruel trick to play. And then when I saved you earlier... you acted as if everything was back to the way it was before, and then you drop this, this BOMBSHELL on me! Edward... I cannot phrase just how much you mean to me.'

Edward looked shocked by Bella's outburst. He glanced around them to see if anyone else had heard her little spat of honesty.

'Um... um... okay.' He responded lamely, looking very uncomfortable, like a small child being chastised for doing a 'bad thing'.

Edward thought for a moment and said finally, 'I wanted to love you, but I couldn't: we are just too different. I'm sorry.'

Bella's eyes glazed over as he said this and she fell into a trance like state.

She nodded dumbly, her face a blank canvas.

He stared at her perfect features and every fibre of his being ached with the longing to hold her in his arms.

Bella shifted slightly, angling her body towards the window.

She sighed. 'Oh.' She whispered quietly.

Edward's heart shattered and his entire body shuddered with sorrow. Alice looked sympathetically over at the two ex- lovers while Jasper looked ahead in pain: he could feel the tension between them.

The rest of the journey passed in silence, with occasional whispers bouncing back and forth between Alice and Jasper who were curled up on one of the seats together. They both slid not- so- subtle glances every once in a while at Bella with worried expressions on their stunning faces.

Jasper was still in pain.

Alice was still looking worried.

Edward was still (attempting) to look nonchalant.

Bella was still looking crestfallen and heartbroken.

It was with these very different, very saddening expressions, that the foursome stepped off of the small jet plane in Port Angeles to a miniature crowd of people.

They all had the same expressions: worried, anxious, angry. Amongst the crowd were Carlisle, Rosalie, Emmett, Esme. Charlie. Obviously word had gotten around about Bella's impromptu trip to Italy. Obviously, no one was too happy about it... especially Charlie.


End file.
